Combating Financial Fear and Staying Emotionally Solvent

When Ervin Antonio Lupoe fatally shot his wife, five children, and himself on January 27th, it underscored just how serious and rampant today’s financial panic has become. Before he committed his tragic acts, Lupoe faxed a note to a TV station saying that he and his wife had planned the killings as an escape for the whole family because they were in debt and had been fired from their hospital jobs. It was the fifth mass murder of a Southern California family in the span of a year.

Chances are you don’t have to look at the headlines to know that people are fearful about their finances. You’re probably feeling it yourself, or you know someone who has lost a job or whose house is in foreclosure. The stress can be overwhelming, but no one wants to end up like the Lupoe family. No matter how bad things are, you can avert tragedy by keeping a check on your emotions and fear. Your situation may be tough, but lots of people have come through horrible circumstances to the other side. Earlier generations struggled through the Great Depression, and many of them went on to not just survive, but also prosper.

So, the perception that there’s no way out usually isn’t accurate, and if you take some steps to calm your emotions and focus on the positive, you can bring yourself out of the dumps and begin to take constructive action that will make things better for you and your family.

Just what is fear and panic? All fear comes from the feeling that one or more of your needs aren’t being met or that you have been violated in some way. For example, if you’ve been laid off from your job, you no doubt feel that your security needs are no longer being met and that your ability to take of yourself and your family has been violated. The resulting pain and loss can cause you to spin out of control emotionally.

Some of us roll with the punches well, while others of us are prone to wallowing in misery. Whichever category you fall into; there’s nothing wrong with you. But if your tendency is to wallow, you’ll need to work harder to leave the pity party.

First of all, understand how your emotions work. All emotions are produced by three simple elements, and all of these elements are in your complete control at all times. That may be a shocking statement, but it’s true! You don’t feel an emotion; you do an emotion. And how you do each emotion is all up to you. Here are the three elements:

Your Focus: What you focus on will determine what you feel and how intense you feel it. The pictures in your mind play a huge part in the development of your emotions. So, let’s practice shifting your focus. Close your eyes, and picture your favorite food. Maybe your favorite is chocolate cake. Picture it in 3D full color and as detailed as possible. Can you smell and taste it?

Now, let’s try to shift your focus by picturing your finances or current situation in black and white, flat, one-dimensional terms. You might choose a symbol for your finances, such as your bankbook or your job. Picture it in the distance, far away from you. Make the image less clear than the chocolate cake, without any energy or intensity. Just playing around with images like this in your mind can help you to dissipate the importance of something in your life that causes you anxiety.

Next, try picturing yourself in a great new job or with a solvent bank account. Make this image like your chocolate cake – 3D, in full cover, and with lots of details. See the difference? If you do this daily, it will help to calm you and bring your focus back to your true positive goals.

Your Body Language: Did you know that your motions equal emotions? Think about it: You can tell by looking at someone how they’re feeling, can’t you? When people are depressed, it’s usually in the way they move and hold their bodies. They don’t smile or sit up straight, and they tend to walk slowly with little direction or enthusiasm.

If you drag yourself around all day, slump in your chair, and eat a poor diet because you’re feeling low, you will only keep yourself in that state of mind. This doesn’t mean that you have to be phony, but make an effort to pull yourself out of your depressive body language.

Try exercising to get some endorphins pumping through your body, eat something healthy, and stand tall. The better you take care of yourself, the better you will feel about yourself. Taking care of your body actually creates greater self-esteem and self-confidence. Yes, it’s difficult to do when you’re feeling low to start with, but all it takes is a little push. Start with something small and build on it. How about some steamed broccoli with garlic? It’s inexpensive, healthy, and easy to make.

Your Conversations: Scientists estimate that we have about 60,000 thoughts every day, and more than 95% of them are the same as the thoughts we had the day before. So, we tend to tell ourselves the same things over and over in our inner conversations. Is it any wonder that most of us have a boring and negative inner dialogue?

We all need an inner cheerleader – a voice that can pull us out of the doldrums and offer alternatives to the negatives that come from within and without on a daily basis. Just the onslaught from the media is bad enough, as they try to create as much drama as possible about the financial “crisis.”

So, learn the art of self-talk. Begin to notice your thoughts, and catch yourself thinking negatively. The next time you think, “I’ll never get out of debt,” remind yourself that you don’t know that to be true. Instead, think about the first step you can take to make your next payment. Don’t look at the big picture. Look at each small step toward your goal, and you’ll be less overwhelmed by the challenges you face.

Begin to hear a rich, deep laughter in your mind whenever you think a negative thought. “Ha! So, you’re the big bad challenge?” The reality may be that you’re out of work, but you can’t predict the future. That means that there’s no reason to think the worst will happen. Create an action plan to do something – however small – every day to make your situation better. Research potential employers, work on improving your job skills, locate things you could sell in a yard sale, or figure out an area where you can cut your spending. Ask yourself how you can use this challenge to learn and grow in a positive way.

Law of Attraction. You’ve probably heard about the Law of Attraction with movies like The Secret moving more into the mainstream. The truth is that what you think about is what you bring about. Everything we think or do is a cause that will eventually have an effect in our lives. These results begin to “stack up” and move us in a particular direction. There’s an old saying: If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. So, pay attention to where you put your energy because the more you focus on the negative, the more you’re likely to attract more negativity. Instead, have the determination to try something new. It’s as easy as changing the way you do your emotions.

Your Emotions are the Ultimate Stimulus Check